Why do abused women stay

Common reasons why people stay in abusive relationships include:. If someone grew up in an environment where abuse was common, they may not know what healthy relationships look like. A survivor may be intimidated into staying in a relationship by verbal or physical threats, or threats to spread information, including secrets or confidential details i.

Survivors may be financially dependent on their abusive partner or have previously been denied opportunities to work, a place to sleep on their own, language assistance, or a network to turn to during moments of crisis. These factors can make it seem impossible for someone to leave an abusive situation. People who are undocumented may fear that reporting abuse will affect their immigration status.

If they have limited English proficiency, these concerns can be amplified by a confusing and convoluted legal system and an inability to express their circumstances to others. Learn more about abuse in different cultural contexts. Many survivors may feel guilty or responsible for disrupting their familial unit. The perpetrator often minimises, denies or blames the abuse on the victim.

Victims may be ashamed or make excuses to themselves and others to cover up the abuse. Fear is constant and they live in a world of everyday terror. By controlling access to money women are left unable to support themselves or their children.

They may fear having their children taken away or, if she has an insecure immigration status, may fear being deported. Asking for help is not easy.

Misunderstandings about domestic abuse often prevents professionals from knowing what to do, how to talk about it or where to direct women disclosing abuse. Femicide Census The Femicide Census: findings. Annual Report on UK Femicide s Published online. Toggle navigation. Am I in an abusive relationship? One reason many victims hesitate to speak up is because they are afraid of being judged and pressured by friends and professionals.

Jason B. Whiting, Ph. He researches deception, communication, and abuse in relationships and is the author of the upcoming book Love me True: Overcoming the Surprising Ways We Deceive in Relationships For more information visit drjasonwhiting. Kantor, J. New York Times. Cravens, J. Contemporary Family Therapy. DOI Whiting, J.

Appraisal distortions and intimate partner violence: Gender, power, and interaction. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. Barnett, O. Family violence across the lifespan: an introduction 3rd ed.

Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Johnson, M. A typology of domestic violence: Intimate terrorism, violent resistance, and situational couple violence. Boston: Northeastern University Press. Merchant, L. They also can feel caught when they meet indifference from others or, worse, insults that add to their injuries.

I am a social work scholar whose research focuses on the problems of dating and domestic violence. My colleague Deborah Anderson and I , as well as other researchers , have published reviews of many studies of the barriers women face in leaving abusers.

We found the barriers cluster in several areas. Not surprisingly, lack of material resources, such as not having a job or having limited income, is a strong factor. Lack of support — and even blame — from family, friends and professionals can add to the sense of helplessness caused by the abuse. Then there is often the constant fear, based in reality, that abuse and stalking will continue or escalate after leaving.

The risk of homicide , for example, increases for a period of time after a woman leaves her abusive partner. The psychological reasons women stay are naturally less visible, making it hard for many to understand and sympathize with victims. Willoughby described the first stage women typically go through when she said she thought something must be wrong with her. Her response?