How can i stop wanting another baby

I suppose this is just my lot and I have to accept it xox. I've been trying to 'foget' about it for the last year - it hasn't worked I'm afraid.

My hubby is all for having a second child it would be his 4th, my 2nd - but we have been told we won't concieve naturally and he is dead against fertility treatment - he believes its either meant to be, or its not. Despite all the odds against us, all the logical brain power telling myself to stop setting myself up for a fall again - I think I may be pregnant - won't know until next week. I haven't stopped wanting, haven't stopped feeling so gutted every time I meet AF. I don't think you can truely 'get over it' until you at least sit down with your OH and talk to him - not to try to persuade him, but just to express how you are feeling - it sounds like its eating you up from inside, and even if he remains adament that he doesn't want a 4th child at least he will know how you are feeling.

Hi Bernadette Oh sweetheart - that yearning is totally all encompassing isn't it? I want to share with you a couple of things that struck me when i read your first post I know you speak very beautifully about how lovely he was as a dad when they were young - but he is telling you that he found it terribly difficult - and he is being honest with you that he can't cope with going through that again.

I wonder why you have stopped yourself from sharing with your husband about how depressed you feel about not having another baby? Its not emotional blackmail to say ' look i have a big problem here and i need you to help me find a way through it'. It might help you both to sit down and weigh up what the pros and cons are for each decision for all of you - and see what comes up as the best overall decision - that way you are part of making a choice about your future and your family rather than feel you are being forced into it.

I am sure though that the best place to start is to talk honestly and openly to your husband:hug:. Hi I am not really in a position to offer advice but just wanted to say I completly understand how you feel. I am 22 and have 2 children aged 19 and 4 months and even though I find it difficult really would love another baby. My other half is adamant that we will never have anymore children and even though I would like to wait a little while I know that I want another one so makes me even wonder if we have a future together!

My yougest has had strep b and this was a horrible and frightning time for us which even put so much pressure on us that we seperated- I know this sounds silly but I feel because she was so poorly I missed out a lot on my youngests newborn stage as she was in hospital for ages and therefore don't really feel I have had a second chance if you get me?

I was studying law at uni when I fell pregnant with my first and had to leave my course before even finishing the first term now I have no confidence to do anything and wonder what I'll actually will do with myself when my babies wont need me anymore!

Hope it helps to know others feel the same maybe it would help if your other half saw the thread so he knows how you feel? Court cases 16 year old wanting to date my 12 year old??? Court cases I slept with another man.

I can never tell my DP. Thank you all so much for you responses xox I know my husband struggled and I did everything i could to make it easier. He never had all three children alone until he felt comfortable when they were about 12 ish months , I tried to do as much as I could but no so much that he felt surplus IYSWIM.

It is knowing how he felt that makes it so hard to discuss, we have done many times. I really don't want to keep harping on it him incase he gives in. I know myself and I know I would spend the entire pregnancy and probably the rest of my life feeling like I had pushed him into it and that he didn't really want our baby. I know my beautiful, amazing, generous husband would do anything for me when it came down to it and I just know that if he truly knew how much it hurt he would say yes in a heartbeat.

As it is I've always managed to keep all convos about is fairly light so he has no idea. I run a pros and cons list through my head about 10 times a day.

It's always been about a split Also remember the effects of postpartum recovery, exhaustion, and the stress of taking care of a baby. Yes, babies are wonderful, but you have to decide if you're up for the challenges they bring at least one more time. If you have a partner, your relationship can feel strained if their head and heart aren't in the same place as yours about whether or not to expand your family.

Instead of trying to please the other with a decision you don't feel good about or vice versa, step back from the situation and give it time. Talk to each other about why you want or don't want another child. See if you can come up with a compromise, such as revisiting the conversation in a few months or setting a date in a year or two when you'll start trying to conceive. The more honest you both are and the more you communicate, the easier your decision may become.

A 7-year-old only child may be terrifically excited about you having a second baby, or they may feel jealous or betrayed. They may even feel both emotions. On the other hand, a toddler may not have yet grasped the notion that they are the top dog. They may adjust to a new sibling beautifully, or they may act out trying to get your attention. But you can consider, for instance, if they ask for a sibling or if they enjoy interacting with younger cousins or friends.

However, even if they don't seem interested in babies or toddlers, they may still react well to having a sibling of their own. Regardless of their age, take some extra steps to help your child adjust to a new sibling if you decide to have another baby. Having a baby really does change everything. That doesn't just apply to your first child. The associated costs, the size of your home, and your family dynamics are all things to consider when contemplating another child.

The costs of raising a child rise each year. Aside from long-term expenses , a baby brings short-term costs too—co-pays, insurance deductibles, hospital bills, prescriptions, diapers, and whatever baby gear or clothes you don't have left over from your older children. These costs can add up quickly, especially if you've already been squeezing every cent out of your household income.

Evaluating the family budget may seem like an unfair exercise when you're considering having a child. However, knowing the numbers can help you decide whether you're financially ready for another baby now, or whether you should wait a year or so to reevaluate your finances.

Adding another member to your household could require some physical changes. You may have to lose that home office or guest room or have your kids share a bedroom.

You may have to buy a double stroller so both of your children can ride at the same time. Your car's backseat will need to have room for two or more little bodies secured in bulky car seats. The tiny eat-in kitchen that was perfect for a trio will have to make room for a high chair and, eventually, a regular chair for your younger child.

As with the budget, these are not necessarily reasons to decide against having another baby. They are just potential changes to think through so they're not a shock when you see the two pink lines on a pregnancy test.

As your firstborn grows, you gain a little more freedom. In this kind of setup, both people inevitably lose. If your husband gives you a child and it destroys your marriage, is he really giving you a gift? If you give up on having a baby but resent your husband for life, did he really get what he wants?

What will help you move forward is to think of yourselves as teammates rather than opponents. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to agree with your perspective, you should work together to understand yourselves and each other better. Only then can you make a thoughtful decision about the path forward. You say that you love your husband and that there are many reasons you enjoy being married to him. You also say that when you got pregnant soon after meeting, you would have ended the relationship had he not agreed to having a third child.

I want you to imagine your life had he said no to a third child at that point. Perhaps you would have ended the relationship, but there would have been no guarantee that you would have found someone you loved as much who also wanted three children during the window in which you were able to have them.

You would have seen less of what would have been your first and perhaps only child than you do now—again, with no guarantee of your having more children later on with a different partner.

If the relationship is not in the best place, there may not be a desire for one spouse to have additional children. If a particular child is difficult, it may lead one parent not to want to have any more kids. All of these things can change with time and through working on building a strong relationship. While it is possible that there will always be a dispute regarding whether to have more kids or not, I have seen multiple times where people wound up having more children even though initially one spouse wanted to cap it at a smaller number.

Was one parent an only child? Do they not feel that it is possible to give multiple children the degree of attention that a singleton receives? Or conversely, are more children desired so that the first child can have the companionship that siblings provide? Did one parent come from a large lively family and cannot imagine having anything less? Sometimes the parent who is the primary caregiver feels overwhelmed and overextended by the responsibility and effort involved in parenting.

Would the parent who wants to expand the family be able and willing to provide more hands-on help? Often decisions about whether or not to increase family size involve work and career considerations for both parents. Is there a way for each parent to achieve a desirable degree of focus on both parenting and career if a new child enters the picture?

Finally, if all options are thoroughly explored, and a consensus has not been reached, it may be wise to settle on keeping the family small. After all, it is preferable for both parents to be happy and willing to attend to the child or children that they have than for one partner to be resentful of the other, or even worse toward the children.